01-31-05: bitch flakes

Is it just me, or is everyone really grumpy today?

It seems that everyone around me had a nice big bowl of extra-fortified Bitch Flakes this morning. People are just really pissy, and it feels like nobody is understanding each other at all. Even the rockin' sweetheart admin chick noticed it, and she said, "There is something in the air today. Things just seem so much harder than usual-- people are snapping at each other, things are breaking, people are dropping stuff, and really obvious routine tasks are eluding even the smart folks today. I'm just gonna lay low and give everyone a wide berth." A wise woman indeed.

I find myself having less tolerance for button-pushing today, too. My new co-worker usually has a funny snarky response to simple questions, and today they are just driving me up a wall, especially when I'm trying to get stuff done. An example:

Me (wearing project manager hat): We have this huge deliverable due on Monday which requires tons of input, planning and typing from all three of us. No other projects can progress until we get our piece out of the way, so I'm going to schedule working meetings every day this week so we can really roll up our sleeves and knock this thing out. It'll rock.
Cow-orker: What if we're wearing short sleeves?
Me: Um, yeeeeah. (pause) So, to wrap up the week's efforts, I'm gonna book an all-day marathon meeting on Friday so we can really woodshed the documents we produced in the earlier part of the week. Are you comfy with marathon meetings like that, or would you rather we break them into smaller chunks? I don't want to be distracted, but if you get itchy sitting in a conference room after an hour, we can break 'em up. What works best for you?
Cow-orker: Maybe I could do a marathon if I quit smoking. But all that running is exhausting.
Me: Yeah.

Another interaction with a different co-worker (to whom I don't report at all... he just sits by me), after I arrive to work at 8:30 instead of my usual 8:00am:
Cow-orker2: Oh! Keeping bankers hours, are we?
Me: Well, we do work in a bank.
Cow-orker2: Wish I could roll in at 8:30. Geez! Some people!
Me: Yeah, well, some people worked past 8pm with no lunch a few times last week, so ya know. Seriously though, I had to pick up my laptop from the mothership. It was in for repairs-- memory stick went bad.
Cow-orker2: Yeah, yeah, excuses excuses.
Me: die die die die die die die.

Example three...
There's a guy Dave who simply cannot resist saying something when he walks by my desk. Even if he has nothing to say, he'll think of something, just to hear himself talk. His normal thing to say is, "It's all Jill's fault" as he whizzes by. I ignore him. Other times he'll say, "What's up there, sizzle chest?" which is a Jerky Boys reference. I am a big fan of the Jerky Boys, and it takes every ounce of restraint not to answer him with an obligatory, "GET ME FRANK RIZZO!" or "Look Jerky, I don't need to talk to you!"  Yet I resist, because then it's gonna become this ongoing thing in-joke that I just don't wanna be involved in. Or, he'll walk by my desk when I'm eating something and he'll say, "What the hell are you eating?" After the 93rd time he asked, I snapped at him (and felt horrible about it later and apologized) and said, "Dave, why are you so interested in 'what the hell' I'm eating??"   As soon as he realized he irked me, he backpedaled and said, "OH! I didn't mean anything, you know, I'm just curious as to what you're eating, you know, um, because my wife and I sell Herbalife and you look like you're health concious and I am interested in vegetarian cooking, I subscribe to Gourmet magazine and I know how to make this really great salmon and..." blah blah blah. Shut up, Dave. I know you're just trying to make a friend. But dude, I'm just trying to survive, get my work done and go home.   He also reads every email I send him aloud. "Jill K-napp has sent me an email! 'Attached is the latest version of the transition project plan, please be sure your teams' portions are updated and returned by...'" SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

Last one... And then I promise I'll stop.
I keep a big-ass bowl of candy on my desk for me and Jane-- she said she likes dark chocolate, so I filled a tupperware with Dove dark chocolates and some other little things. Besides Jane, I have told the two other people I like here that they are welcome to help themselves. I was out of the office on Friday working from Chez Ninja, and today, this GIANT mo-fo bowl of candy is totally empty-- not even a wrapper in it. This really isn't that big a deal in the grand scheme of things, but I know that the two people I invited didn't eat this huge thing. To make it worse, I keep the overflow stash in my bottom file cabinet drawer so I can refill the bowl when it gets empty, and even that stuff has been eaten... and I didn't tell anyone about that stash. So... who's been going through my drawers?

Of course, I understand that I work in a cube and anything that isn't locked is fair game. But still...

Tonight, I have a meeting after work to discuss MTM's recent acquision of my company, and how this will impact my life. I think it can only be good: they have offices all over the country, conveniently located in places I would consider living. But right now, the thought of moving overwhelms me... but then again, so does breathing. We'll see.

Anyway, tomorrow will be a better day, as there is Italian Wedding Soup in my business lunch plans.

Might sound ghey, but I just really need a long, lingering, connecty hug. Sadly, all of my boyz are 2200+ miles away.

I really miss John. :-(