04/28/04: e-vil

I have a new best friend, and his name is James. He lives down the block from me, and he's 15 years old, he goes to Sallies, he takes piano lessons from Joe Trainor and he's doing stage crew for Little Shop. I drive him home each night after rehearsal, and I'm telling you, this kid cracks me the heck up. Like the other Sallies folks I have been honored to meet, (Pat Nakacali, Kris Shoooooopa, etc.), this guy gives me faith in humanity, and makes me confident that the world won't fall apart when my generation is old and gray.

Anyway, on tonight's drive home we compiled a list of how you can tell that someone is evil. (I surely am forgetting stuff.)

  • sharp teeth
  • a menacing or maniacal laugh
  • past history of evil
  • a foreign accent
  • a physical deformity of some kind... a limp, an eyepatch, a scar, a hand-hook or pegleg
  • the predisposition for explaining evil plots
  • they're wearing black, or a suit
  • rubbing hands together, or tapping fingers together in a scheming way
  • **if you have an evil twin in another dimension, your evil twin has a goatee... that's how we can tell you two apart.

    Other traits, which do not define evilocity alone but only enhance existing evilness, include:

  • wearing a monacle
  • being a mutant

    Some traits which render you instantly non-evil:

  • bowties (with the exception of The Penguin, though admittedly he wasn't so much evil as he was merely a nuisance.)
  • a ukelele

    If you can think of any more, let me know, yo.

    Fortune Teller Miracle Fish today tells me that I am: somewhere between In Love and Indifferent. (We've got a moving tail and a slightly twitchy head.)   The story of my life. :-)

    Anyway, in other news, tomorrow night (Thursday night) is Preview Night for Little Shop of Horrors. I can't believe this shizzle is opening! I'm totally excited. Tonight's rehearsal went really well... Brian Turner was crack-smokin'-giddy at one point which naturally made everyone else crack-smokin'-giddy.     "Cacophany!! Cacophany!!"   "Tacet."   (Guess you had to be there.)

    Tomorrow night's preview show will be attended by Pfefferneuse (or his new name: Horchata) and his wife, and the Ninja. Not sure who else is going, but the rest of the cast says they don't have many people showing up.   My way-cool pal Steve is coming on Saturday night, and my folks are coming down for the Sunday matinee.   I also understand that after Friday night's performance (opening night, yo) there's a reception in the lobby. Man, I'm hoping for good food. I am so seriously low on my cow intake, and that had best be remedied soon. I'm feeling anemic. :-) (Not like I'm expecting them to have cow in the lobby of a theater, but a girl can dream, no?)

    Tomorrow day my reinemachenfraus are coming, so I'll be working in the office from about 10am - 3pm so they can do their thang.   Guh... can't believe I have to get out of my PJs and dressed by 10. Argh!

    OK, I'm sleepy. I'm gonna hit the hay... but I'll leave you with this...

    Today's Spam Poetry:

    Rockford extorted esprit robot: immovable Schulz?

    Teutonic luster, mediocre.
    Finitely popular Norma assortment.

    brownish aggressor troopers accosting Latinizers.

    Snodgrass resident acclimated!!

    Quakerize Gonzalez, architect.
    Madonna's Olympic charging, climbed honed.
    Miltonize Heraclitus paroled.

    roommate adversely educable Forsythe.
    Sullivan diaries speaks McGregor.

    looped centrifuge.

    Hebraic monkeying.

    skulker gulled bucket.

    Ziegler deploys protection attendants: Cassandra (pessimist) maintains!!

    rainbow designates waxes opaque.
    Adolph upshots clucks Saturn silkily


    rebound roadway substances pacifies traitors reprieving doses.
    primeval barnyards spinally touch Carolina scrapers