07/16/04 | 11:31am: let them eat cipro

To make a very painfully long story short, I'll just say this: The human body is a remarkable thing. One minute I was feeling fine, the next minute I very literally thought my life was going to end sitting in my car alone in the Silverside Medical Unit parking lot. Thanks to wonderful friends, a stay in the emergency room and mega-antibiotics, I am healed 48 hours later, as if nothing happened. It is amazing that the body can fail so quickly, but can also miraculously heal so quickly, too. To think before antibiotics were invented, I would have croaked to be sure.   Thanks, Slokdok!


The moral of the story is... diagnosis: Pyelonephritis, acute.     According to my ER report: "The word pyelonephritis refers to the central area of the kidney where the urine initially collects before flowing down into the bladder. It is very important to be treated effectively to prevent permanent kidney damage." No idea how this happened; the ER doc speculates it was a UTI that got out of hand and climbed up the ol' tract past my bladder and into my kidneys (hence the high fever). Frankly, I don't recall having a UTI... let's face it, when you have a UTI, you freakin' know you have a UTI, so I'm not entirely convinced... but what do I know. At least it wasn't a kidney stone or some other kind of blockage; that would have sucked.

Anyway, I'm feeling like a rock star now and that's all that matters. I have the best friends in the world: mad props to christurner and Jeremy for helping me out, and also to my friends for the calls, emails, text messages, good vibes, sunflowers. Sorry to do that to y'all. I owe you BIG.

Anyhoo, as promised, Steve Weatherman is trapped in Iowa, so here is the first installment of:


7/15/04: 12:09 AM, Iowa Time

Dear All,

I have landed in that Agricultural Xanadu called Iowa.   Traveling is gruelling business, but I took it all in stride, considering I was going to my death.

Knowing that I was probably hungry and wanting to show me the best of Midwestern Cuisine, my parents took me to one of their favorite restaurants. I thought it was nice that they were making an effort to make me feel welcome, so I was surprised when they pulled up in front of The Old Country Buffet.   Apparently they can get a "heck of a deal" considering they are senior citizens and it was just a little after 4pm.   I won't detail the epicurean concoctions they had steaming in the trays.   Suffice it to say that the Mullet hairdo is alive and well and is living in Iowa (probably in a trailer).   The restaurant's population, this sad gathering of the faithful had little hope for the future, but did have hope that there would be seconds, thirds and fourths of Chicken Fried Steak.

I have been told we will go in search of Sweet Corn tomorrow.   Perhaps they've found some way to deep-fry that, as well.  Pray for me.

-Steve We.
Your Iowa Boy

Fortune Teller Miracle Fish today tells me that I am: Indifferent.   Hmmm. Go figure.