July 16th, 2004
Dear All,
I have been out of contact these last few days. I have been on one hog-tied adventure after another.
I went to a county fair with kids running around in overalls throwing firecrackers at the old folks' feet (...and we thought Tom Sawyer was a book...). Don't get me wrong, I like watermelon spitting contests just as well as the next hick, but it's just not my thing.
There were also car races at this jamboree! Yee-Haw! I heard a joke there that night--it goes like this: You may be a redneck if you think the last four words to the National Anthem are, "Gentlemen! Start your engines!" I wish this were funnier than it was. At the seventh inning stretch of a baseball game, they play, "Take me out to the Ballgame." At the halfway point at the races they play "Sweet Home, Alabama."
Everybody was a little sloshed (which was the only good part) and all the kids were chewing tobacco (even the boys). The nicest thing I can say about most of these people is that their tattoos were spelled correctly.
I think somebody offered me moonshine there that night. I believe this is true because my vision returned later in the afternoon that next day.
Well, that's all for now.
Pray for me.
-Steve We.
Your Iowa Boy