07/21/04: just steve

I've got no update, but yay, Steve does! This was just delivered today, which explains the date discrepancy.   Either way, here's the latest from the man trapped in the land of the corn...


July 16th, 2004

Dear All,

I have been out of contact these last few days. I have been on one hog-tied adventure after another.

I went to a county fair with kids running around in overalls throwing firecrackers at the old folks' feet (...and we thought Tom Sawyer was a book...). Don't get me wrong, I like watermelon spitting contests just as well as the next hick, but it's just not my thing.

There were also car races at this jamboree! Yee-Haw!   I heard a joke there that night--it goes like this: You may be a redneck if you think the last four words to the National Anthem are, "Gentlemen! Start your engines!" I wish this were funnier than it was. At the seventh inning stretch of a baseball game, they play, "Take me out to the Ballgame." At the halfway point at the races they play "Sweet Home, Alabama."

Everybody was a little sloshed (which was the only good part) and all the kids were chewing tobacco (even the boys). The nicest thing I can say about most of these people is that their tattoos were spelled correctly.

I think somebody offered me moonshine there that night. I believe this is true because my vision returned later in the afternoon that next day.

Well, that's all for now.

Pray for me.

-Steve We.
Your Iowa Boy