08/15/04: where's jill?

Howdy from the land of the day/night shifteroo.  Seems like I can't get to sleep before 4am these days, which also means I don't wake up until 10-ish, which also means I'm getting less than 8 hours of sleep continuously, which of course means I'm getting less smart by the day. (Case in point: that dumb sentence.)

I have noticed a pretty solid link between my legs cramping and the amount of sleep I've gotten.  I am guaranteed a charleyhorse-free day if I have had enough water, enough protein and enough sleep.  Getting two out of three is very good, and usually does the job.  But days when I score all three I feel like a rock star (with decent gams, to boot).

Speaking of feeling like a rock star:

Last week was spent in the throes of tech week for The Wall, which we performed this weekend to a very enthusiastic crowd.  I'll tell you, it feels really cool to be a rockstar.  Neither my music degree nor scads of performing experience with various vocal ensembles / The Evelyn Situation prepared me for the staggering coolness of rocking.  Dude, what a rush.  

The shows were absolutely amazing, and I can't express how honored I am to have been a part of it.  The band got along so well, no whining, backbiting, nada... just pure talent, respect, goodness, smiles, belly laughs, faux debauchery and goatse jokes.  Singing with Steve and Gen is a pure treat-- it's so awesome to be able to talk to people in the same musical language without having to trip over vocabulary.  Just to write in our music I64 instead of having to write/figure every single thing out was so delightful.  Sure, it's Basic Music Theory I, but it's still nice to have that efficiency.  I also like being the suckiest at something in a group, and out of the three of us, I am honored to say I was the weakest singer.  This whole thing has been a Super High Quality Event.  I need to be a snob and only dedicate my time to such endeavors.

Anyway, the show closed last night to people holding up lighters and screaming for more even after our 7-minute encore; that felt great.  After we struck the set today, I went over Joe's place and we watched the video from last night... holy crap, I had no idea it looked so fantastic.  Chris The Light Guy is an absolute magician, and I give him the maddest props.  (A side note: This was the first time I had been over to Joe's place... it is absolutely beautiful.  I had no idea there were such artsy funky peaceful aesthectically beautiful magical spacious green lush positive energy places to live in Delaware; in the city, no less. (By Salesianum-ish.) If Delaware gets its claws in, that is SO gonna be my neighborhood.)

Ben (the drummer) is also a promoter, and he and Joe are looking into other venues for us to perform this show-- we can't just stick this thing on a shelf after such a short run (two nights only, yo.) Newark (DE), Philly and NYC are not out of the question, though we're looking to start small: maybe a 400-seater club.  I think the philosophy is: sell out a smaller place, as opposed to only half-filling a bigger place.  I'll keep you posted.  

Jobwise, I am still unemployed.  I hate it.  I hate not having money, I hate constantly checking my bank account, I hate having to ask my mom for a loan, I hate waiting for that unemployment check like it's my crack fix, I hate not being able to do the fun things I like to do, I hate not being able to treat my friends to things, I hate it all.  I haven't been in a position like this since early college (but then again, who isn't poor in college), and I can't stress to you enough how much it sucks and is totally uncomfortable and humiliating and shitty.  I have a knot in my stomach over it almost constantly.  My old company keeps pushing my start date back, and they're now saying they expect to bring me on in mid-September.  Argh!!

Of course, Jeremy sees this as a cosmic sign of sorts.  Why? Well, if I had a job right now, then this evil plan wouldn't be possible:

John (aka The Ninja) invited me out to San Francisco to visit last week and we had an amazing time.  One topic on the discussion agenda was to figure out the deal with 'us.' By all logic, we should have been over each other by now considering we only dated for three months before he moved away, not to mention that all while we were together we knew we had an expiration date.  Alas, for some reason we're still hangin' on, so we figure maybe there's more to this 'us' thing than we originally gave ourselves permission to think there could be.  To make a long story short, we don't want to do a long-distance thing, but we don't want to necessarily kill things off either... we need to gather more data.  So I'm taking advantage of my unemployed status and instead of sitting in Delaware for the next month picking my nose, I'll pick my nose in San Francisco instead.  Oh yeah, and we're also going to Burning Man.  I figure if we can survive a one-bedroom apartment and a playa-jaunt, then mmmmmaybe we just might have somethin', Beavis.  :-D

Anyhoo, I leave on August 22, which is the day after Knappuccino's this month.  I return on 9/23 so I can be home in time for the next Knappuccino's on September 25th.

Let's play Q & A!   These are actual questions I've been asked by one or more people.

Q: You're shacking up with The Ninja?
A: Nah, not really. I mean, yeah, kinda. I dunno.  Ya know. Next question...

Q: Yeah, but you guys are gonna be, like, living together, right?
A: No.  Living together is when I buy a solid wood armoire and have it delivered to his place. My toiletries will be kept in their travel bag, yo.

Q: OK, smartypants: Will you have the same address?
A: Yep. Same address.

Q: Why are you so, like, avoiding the questions? Are you adverse to the idea of living together/shacking up? What's the problem here?
A: No problem at all!  But "shacking up" has an awful lot of scary connotations, and once you start thinking about those connotations you feel pressure that simply doesn't exist.  I prefer to say that I'm enjoying a long vacation in a zany land.  Or on a data-gathering mission. It's semantics, yo. This is a Very Good Thing, a Super Happy Event, and I'm very excited about it. The Ninja rocks!   Now off my back.   :-)

Q: Oh, Jill, you're such a romantic.
A: That's not a question, and I will not justify it with a response.

Q: So, what happens if after a month things are so blissfully magical in San Fran that you don't want to come back?
A: I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Q: What if things suck so hard that you want to come back sooner?
A: I come back sooner.

Q: What's preventing you from falling into the same "Well, we only have x amount of time, so what's the point" trap you fell into before?
A: I have no idea. But I do know that I hate you.

Q: What are you gonna do all day?
A: Download porn! I've been looking on craigslist for neat organizations that need volunteers for a few weeks. Whatever happens, I need to fill my days with usefulness. (Thanks, A-!)

Q: What will you do with all your apartment and your stuff while you're gone for a month?
A: Nothing.  My apartment will be ransacked by robbers in search of outdated computer books and stereo equipment purchased in 1984 at the Livingston Mall.  Seriously, I'm trying to get someone to live in it in the interim, as long as they promise not to score on my bed.

Q: Dude, you're really going to Burning Man?
A: Yep!  I'm looking forward to the kicking back and connecting, yapping, absorbing, firing some rusty synapses.  Oh yeah, and I'll especially enjoy being money-free.  ;-)

OK, enough of this, I'm getting hives.

On a lighter note, I made about 2 quarts of salsa last week and just finished it off this afternoon at lunch before heading to the WDL to strike The Wall set.  When I arrived at the theater, Kevin had another awesome bag of fresh veggies from his garden waiting for me.  Love him!   Gotta say, I am especially looking forward to that piece of San Francisco: John has a zillion fresh vegetable places right in his neighborhood; can't wait to peruse them in search of the perfect pico di gallo ingredients. ;-)

Fortune Teller Miracle Fish today tells me that I am: A Dead One. Well, it is almost 4:00am, so bedtime is nigh.