Last night I saw Opera Delaware's production of Turandot. Overall, a very enjoyable performance. Some of the trebles from my choir were featured in the show, and they absolutely rocked. I was super-proud of them. Yay!
I did learn a few things from the opera, and I think I'm going to incorporate them into my life philosophy:
First off, nobody can date me unless they can answer three riddles; and if they can't, I'll have them beheaded. This eliminates those uncomfortable frozen-food-aisle "Oh, there's that guy I used to date and now I don't know what to say" moments.
If I publicly proclaim that nobody will ever win my heart (read: get in my pants), apparently everyone will try a billion times harder.
Nobody can ask me out without first banging a huge gong.
I will also make sure that I have at least 4 handmaidens to do my bidding. They will have important tasks, like making sure people are quiet when I'm sleeping, and making sure my flowing gowns aren't rumpled.
Just to keep my peeps on their toes, I'll arbitrarily decree certain nights as "Nessun Dorma," where nobody in Wilmington will be allowed to sleep. If snoozers are caught, I'll make sure the beheader is summoned again.
Survival of the fittest... Or perhaps, survival of the ass-kissing-est. This could work for me.
Much easier than changing my name to Zod.