There are a few phrases in life that instantly turn me into a giant gelatinous blob of gladness. They are:
"Breakfast served all day"
"Severe Thunderstorm Warning"
"Time for bed!"
"Ms. Knapp, We welcome you to cheese.com."
For the love of God and all that is holy, if you're the type of person who has dreams which include lots of cheese, then go to cheese.com. Internet cheese, delivered to your front door, direct from whatever cheese cave from whence it was begat. My Lordy, how did I live without the internet?
In other gnus completely, I got a new cell phone. My old one, gahdblessit, was trusty and reliable until I dropped it for the 387th time. (Memo to Motorola Timeport owners: these phones can only be dropped 386 times.) So I got the new, fancy-schmancy LG-6000, which is this slick clam-shell dealie with a camera built in. My friends are so lucky, they get to have really poor-quality pictures filling up their inboxes now. Woohooooo! I know you're all DYING to know exactly where I am at any given moment (because I am, of course, the center of the universe), so now I can have that documented nicely for you. See? I'm always putting my friends first. Wanna know where I am? Just send an email to my cell phone (that's my cell phone number with no dashes or spaces @vtext.com) saying, "Yo Knapp! Where you at?" and I will snap you a pic and show you. I can just hear my phone message alert going off now!
|For example, this is me in my kitchen.|
|And this is what happens when Joe McAllister steals my phone. He said that every day he's gonna steal my phone and take a picture of something at work, and I have to figure out what it is.|
So that's the big excitement. Well, that, and I might get laid off. But that's another story for another time. Right now, I have a little cold I need to get over, so bed calls.
"Time for bed!"