It's very interesting dating a doctor because you get these little insights into how bodies work that you normally wouldn't get. Like, I never knew (and maybe this is common knowledge, I dunno) that drinking warm liquids speeds up peristalsis and will usually encourage you poop. This is why people get the "coffee craps"-- it's not the caffeine entirely, it's the warmth. Who knew? Maybe the caffeine kicks it up a notch, I dunno.
I have also been told that cold beverages do not have the opposite effect. (Save you the trouble of trying.)
I also understand (though not from personal experience) that nicotine encourages the process as well. So if you start your day with coffee and a smoke, I imagine you'll also be hitting the head shortly thereafter.
This is where Jeremy emails me to accuse me of being a poop freak.
(I'm really not.)
Thank you, drive through.