12/02/04: breakroom follies

I was just in the breakroom of the company I'm consulting for-- it was time for my morning coffee. I saw three things in a span of about 7 minutes. I should hang out in the breakroom more often.

1)   Next to the standard ol' drip coffeepot is a diner-esque glass container for sugar, with the metal top with a hole in the lid for pouring. Standard equipment. Next to it is a similar noun that has the always-delicious (ugh) non-dairy creamer powder in it.   A woman was making a fresh pot of coffee. While the pot was brewing, she took a styrofoam cup and put some creamer powder in the bottom. She then picked up the sugar container and tried to put some sugar into her cup, but the sugar container was empty. TOTALLY and completely empty. No sugar was in it. At all. Not even little bits stuck to the sides or the bottom. This was obvious because the glass part is clear, and also very clean.   Anyhoo, this woman looks at the container and sees that it is empty, but has this sincerely (truly!) puzzled look on her face, so she shakes the container vigorously hoping to get some sugar out.   But there is no sugar in the container.  Did I mention that it was empty, and that there wasn't any sugar in it?   And she shakes and she shakes, but mysteriously, no sugar ever comes out.  Strange, that.   So, instead of adding more sugar to the container from the giant bag of sugar that was on the counter (or heck, she could have poured directly from the bag into her cup if she was in a rush), she just took her styrofoam cup of non-dairy creamer powder and sat down at one of the breakroom tables. She just sat there very still, staring at the sugar container while she was waiting for her coffee to finish brewing.

I was rinsing out my coffee mug while all this was happening.  I filled up my coffeecup with the stuff marked VERY STRONG COFFEE (it's a double-batch) and I added the non-dairy-creamer-powder.  Then I unscrewed the lid to the sugar container and filled it up, replaced the lid, and sweetened my coffee. The woman shuffled her feet.  The MOMENT I put down the sugar container (mind you, the woman's pot of coffee was not done brewing yet), the woman sprinted over and totally invaded my personal space and swiped the sugar container and poured some sugar into her cup of creamer powder and then sat back down.

2)   While I was stirring my coffee, another odd thing happened: A woman walked into the room and got hot water out of the hot-water thinger. She poured in a packet of instant decaf coffee, some Splenda and some non-dairy creamer into a styrofoam cup and mixed it around. She took a sip and deemed it palatable.   I envisioned the chemical diagram of what she was drinking, and if there actually was any coffee in it.

This made me want to run out to Brew-ha-ha and buy her a double decaf brewski (see image right: my brewski from yesterday. Brewski = a cup of coffee plus a shot or two of espresso) so she can remember what real coffee tastes like. Decaf doesn't have to suck. Next time you're in Delaware, get yourself a double-shot decaf brewski. Damn tasty.

3)   A woman came into the breakroom to wash out some party trays that probably had potato chips in them or something. The C-fold paper towels they have in the breakroom aren't tremendously absorbent, or "egg-sorbent" as the woman said twice.

Oh, and read this. It's actually true. It will make you like your job.

Fortune Teller Miracle Fish today tells me that I am: Passionate. Or caffeinated. :-)