4/26/01:Yep. It's been another long while. What can I say?

The new job is going very well, and it's keeping me busy. Not "Wingspan-busy" where I worked 60 hour workweeks, but I do work a solid 40 hours, which doesn't allow me to do much personal emailing during the day. So please forgive me, because I'm sure my emailing will be a good deal more sparse than it was before (pbssht, as if that's possible). By the time I get home from work, the last thing I feel compelled to do is fire up my computer.

Anyhoo, rehearsals for the play are going well. At first I was a little worried, but the actors are a talented bunch and they're doing a nice job. The choreography looks very cool (mainly because neither Jeremy nor I are dancing, hardy-har-har), and the songs sound good, so what's not to like? Except that the show is depressing-- not in a Fiddler on the Rood kind of depressing, but in a dreadfully depressing kind of way. Heck, at the end of Fiddler, you at least have some hope. Here, you have none. Everyone's dead. 'Nuff said. :-)

OH! How could I forget?! I turned 30 on April 17th. I can no longer be friends with myself now, because in my early 20s I didn't want to have friends in their 30s because I felt they "were old." HA! And now, I'm that old stinky fart. I can't believe it.

I feel kind of weird about being 30. I figured by now I'd have a career in music, be married, with a house, and maybe a smaller butt. But alas, I do not. In fact, as I look around, I don't see that many people who do have those things. I wonder if society's view on marriage is changing, or is my generation just a bunch of stinky losers who can't find someone dumb enough to marry them...

 I remember having a really great conversation 4 years ago with my brother's friend's wife, Amy D'Elia. I'd never met her before, and I just instantly thought she was way cool. Anyhoo, we got to talking about what it was like for her being in her 30s-- and she said at first it was weird, but she had really come to love it. She said that she had finally come in to her own, she was now comfortable in her own skin, she now understood that 'she was who she was,' and that was a really powerful and enlightening place to be. She said that she no longer had that insecure, unsure feeling like she had in her twenties.

 Just today someone asked how old I was, and I said, "30." It actually felt okay. Whatever. I don't know why I make such a big deal out of it anyway. It's just a number.

In other news, since I got this big new job, I've been promoted to a pretty major managerial position. So now the people who were once my bosses are now my peers, and they talk and interact with me differently now, which I find very interesting. Gee, last week you wouldn't really talk to me, and now you're asking me to hang out with you. Fascinating. No biggie either way, since I don't really believe in mixing work with after-hours socializing; it's always been a rule of mine. I dont want to seem like I'm not a team-player, I just don't feel comfortable breaking that fourth wall, as it were.

Anyway, so now that I'm a big important scary manager, I have to attend all these big important scary manager meetings. There, people use words like "paradigm" and "gap analysis". I use words like "brain-fart."


The thing I find so interesting is that wherever I seem to work, people gravitate towards me. While I'm not 100% sure why, I suspect it's because I use phrases like "brain-fart." I think I put them at ease; I'm approachable. I don't wear foofy clothes (all cotton, baby!), I don't get my nails done, and I smile at everyone. Perhaps this is also why I attract idiot-loser guys-- because I'm friendly so they think I'm interested, because I'm the only vagina-sporting bi-ped who will acknowledge their existence. 

I'm going to put that on my business card. "Jill Knapp: Vagina-sporting bi-ped." 

Which isn't any dumber than some chick who SERIOUSLY had cards that said, "[Whatever HerNameWas]: Earth Goddess." And she handed them out to prospective employers and everything. Go figure.

This is getting very long.

I'm hoping this page can be the best way for my dear pals to keep up on my happenings. I know it's not as cool as an email, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

I'm off to beddy-bye.