THE COSMOS!

This page was created to give UNDENIABLE PROOF to dorkfaced skeptics (read: Mark, Jeff and Jeremy) that The Cosmos is a real place with a real gravitational fault. So bite my butt. :-)

EXHIBIT A: The sign in front of The Cosmos:

"The area known as The Cosmos is the strangest location in the entire Black Hills. Here, the world is different; tospy-turvey with nothing in its normal position, including yourselves. The laws of nature seem to have gone completely berserk, especially in the Mystery House iteself. But to feel the pressure of the area against you is the most unusual feature of all... a physical experience you will never forget."

Okay. So the first thing that happens is you pay your six bucks and you wait for a tour. When the tour begins, they bring you to two cement pads, which do not appear to be level to your eye-- one is clearly higher than the other. However, when the tour guide places a level (which we've inspected) on the slabs, it reads level. She also places a tennis ball on the level, and the ball does not roll either way, though it should. It's pretty screwy. (Someone else used their own level and their own ball. Trust me, the level and ball are legit.)

Next, she asks me to stand on one slab, and my dad to stand on the other.

Enter EXHIBIT B and C: The first sign that gravity has gone amok:

EXHIBIT B: Dad is only a micron taller than me.

EXHIBIT C: Dad is now way taller than me. How is this possible if th SLABS ARE READING LEVEL????

EXPLAIN THAT, PROTRACTOR MAN!

Next, you begin the walk to the Mystery House (say it in a creepy voice -- wooooooo! Mystery House!).

EXHIBIT D: THE MYSTERY HOUSE.

Yes, non-believers and fart-knockers, I can clearly see that the house is built on an angle. This is only to exaggerate the weird gravitational forces. If you close your eyes, TRUST ME, you really feel something. I actually wish they didn't build the house crooked, so everyone wouldn't try to explain this away as an optical illusion.

Inside the house, you can do all sorts of experiments that prove that gravity is all screwy here. Experiments include: standing on the wall without falling over, sitting on the wall in a chair without falling over, rolling a ball uphill, pushing a weight suspended from the ceiling, hanging from a bar and not hanging vertically, etc.

EXHIBIT E: THE WALL

Though it's hard to tell from this picture, I am standing at a 40-degree angle from the wall, leaning into the room. If I close my eyes, I feel like I'm standing straight up. If I lean back an inch or two, I'm "sucked" back into the corner.

EXHIBIT F: THE CHAIR OF DOOM

Notice here that only the back two legs are on the wall, while the front legs of the chair are hanging in mid-air (you can't see this clearly because of my clunky shoes -- if you click the link below for the Cosmos website, the pictures there illustrate this better).

The rectangle over my head is a weight which, when taken off the wall, hangs from the ceiling at a 40-degree angle. When you try to push it away from you, it is really hard to push. Also, when you let it swing, it doesn't swing as a normal pendulum does.

EXHIBIT G: THE PENDULUM EFFECT

Okay. Everyone knows that if you hang something (including yourself) from a bar, you're gonna dangle vertically-- it's just normal. Aha! But not at the Cosmos!

Here, they have a chin-up bar hanging from the ceiling, and I'm simply hanging from it. I'm not bending at the waist, I'm not swinging, nada. As far as I'm concerned, I'm upright. Obviously, I'm not.

EXHIBIT H: THE FINAL CLINCHER

Here's a shot of my dad just standing there, looking mildly entertained.

Dad believes in the Cosmos, and he's not an idiot.

That's all the proof you should need. :-)

To read more about The Cosmos at their fairly lame website, click here: http://blackhills.org/cosmos